Phuckit Fried Rice is less of a recipe and more of a dare: Look in your fridge for interesting bits and pieces and say "Phuckit..."

I didn't set out to develop an egg-free recipe, I just forgot the eggs. No one missed them.

Turn a pile of chicken scraps into these deeply chickeny, super-concentrated Stock Bombs.

These crunchy lamb fat potatoes will cuddle your soul from the inside and flood your brain with happy-juice.

Bread sauce: Transforming stale loaves into silky, savoury hugs since medieval times.

Making your own pate sounds cheffy but it's actually no fiddlier than typing the word.

Turn the stale end of a baguette into a jar of crunchy crouton crackers with a shelf life to see you well into the next pandemic...

I'm too selfish and entitled to be a vegetarian. My one concession to conscious eating is that I do my best to make the most of every...

I realise my last three recipes have been leftover potato-based, but in my defence, Monet spent 30 years painting the same fucking pond....

My Uncle Frank recently accused me of buying fresh food and passing it off as leftovers, just so I can keep writing these recipes. Here I...

Reheating a roast chicken dinner in a microwave is like going to a recent Guns N' Roses gig. The ingredients are all there but they're a...

Our once-cute thirteen-year-old's appetite for red meat is ferocious. Unsettling, even. So if there is ever any leftover steak in this...

If we all ate more offal, fewer animals would need to die for our dinners. More importantly, fewer animals would need to live for our...

Much like the amniotic fluid that protects and sustains a little fetus, pickle juice nurtures its knobbly green babies with vital...

Pitta bread is the data-entry clerk of the bread world. Its only redeeming characteristic: The ability to transport other more...

I think it was Buddha that said "A cook with a packet of pre-made roti in the freezer is a cook with many options." Or was it Plato?...

It's early December and I just want the year to end already. I'm tired, tetchy and have reached peak I-don't-give-a-fuck. Still, the...

I don't have a lemon tree but my neighbours do and its branches overhang my fence, occupying my airspace. Naturally, I collect my...

I don't think I ever entered our local Streatham kebab shop before 2am. You just wouldn't. And you definitely wouldn't chance that...

Heaven is a kitchen with an elaborate meal to prepare, an audiobook and no other people. I'm happy here for hours on end, if not days. So...